Which Characters Would Bring The Drip To The Game Awards
The Game Awards has finally arrived, and everyone is going to look like shit. I’m in total agreement with Alyssa Mercante over at Kotaku: the games industry is entirely dripless. While some guests attend TGA in cocktail wear and some men even wear suits, the majority of the biggest and richest figures in gaming turn up in graphic tees and schubbly jackets. There has been, bafflingly, some pushback on this criticism, claiming it is gatekeeping the industry against poor people. It is not. Eveningwear starts at a low price and I promise you Phil Spencer can afford better clothes than a black t-shirt with the Xbox logo on it.
But enough about Phil Spencer and the other dripless wonders among us. On screen, at least, we have a plethora of fashionistas to choose from. So even if the top dogs in the gaming industry dress like what your dad would wear to a pub meal of a relative he doesn’t really like, these gamers would show up dressed to the nines.
Final Fantasy is a drip-heavy series, but I had to narrow it down to a single pick. I went for Cloud mostly because he’s my favourite and it’s my list (nyah nyah), but also for his ability to transcend gender roles. The problem of fashion is mainly confined to men, as the rest of us are under far more pressure to look good and are criticised even when we try if we’re deemed to fall short or not be attractive enough for an industry where men host podcasts in two-day old t-shirts with messy bed head and without shaving. Looking at women and queer people at TGA, we see a huge gulf between the plain tee and coloured kicks the host rocks up in. Cloud might not turn up in a Honey Bee Inn dress, but I think he’d understand the spirit of the occasion enough to look the part.
Again, I toyed with other characters from the Like a Dragon series (it’s now illegal to call it Yakuza), but Ichi got the nod over Kiryu on personality. While Kiryu would take it seriously and always has his trademark suit, he’s not as excitable as Ichi. The maroon suit Ichi rocks most days is perfectly acceptable, but I can see him going all out with something special. Make an effort, millionaire executives with access to personal stylists. That’s all we ask.
He probably would just go shirtless, but I’m fine with that.
I don’t care for BioShock: Infinite’s Booker DeWitt much, but I can’t deny the fit goes hard. It’s a little outdated now, not only in that he dresses like a Victorian but in that the brief early ‘10s fashion moment of dressing like a Victorian has long passed. Still, Booker pulls it off, and compared to crumpled t-shirts and any old trousers that fit, Booker is a fashion icon.
Claude von Regan
Once more, Fire Emblem is a series with a lot of stylish characters, but I went for Claude for a few reasons. Again, my favourite, my list, nyah nyah. But also it’s worth pointing out that men of colour tend to offer a different vibe to the ‘sure this old Devil May Cry tee will do’ than a lot of the very white executives and directors who just wear jeans and sneakers and that’s that. Claude wears a half-shoulder cape just for going to breakfast, so you know he’d have something special for being a nominee in Best Family Game because the jury saw he was on Nintendo and nominated him without much thought for what the category means. In unrelated news, best of luck to single player strategy battler Mario + Rabbids: Sparks of Hope in the Best Family Game category.
One of my biggest regrets with Mass Effect 3’s phenomenal Citadel DLC is that Thane is not invited. The expansion pack is set after his death, so while you can hold a funeral for him and listen to recorded messages, Thane’s lack of presence itself is highly noticeable. There are plenty of excuses to get dressed up across the pack, and Thane would have killed it… if Kai Leng hadn’t killed him. Thane’s dark noir stylings, leather trench coat with popped collar, and unlockable red sunglasses all point to a man with a serious sense of style. Subdued, tasteful, and effortlessly cool.
I was tempted to stick to men only, as they are almost invariably the culprits for gaming’s drip shortage, but the day has not yet arrived where I can write a list and avoid putting Lara Croft on there. I pray the day will come, if only because it will make trips to the supermarket easier. In any case, the best level of the best Tomb Raider game (Tokyo in Legend, no further questions at this time) shows Lara in an exquisite thigh split cocktail dress which still has room for her iconic twin pistols. Don’t worry about her walking in those heels either – she can scale whole buildings in them.
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