The holidays are over and everyone is slowly shuffling back to work now. I hope you had a great time off. What did you do? Did you spend time relaxing, visiting with family, and reflecting all the ways you grew and changed throughout the year? Oh, me? I spent every waking moment vainly searching the putrid mouths of disgusting fish for filthy little coins. Thanks for asking.

I usually don’t hold World of Warcraft’s considerable grind against it. One of WoW’s strengths is the incredible amount of variety it offers in its various activities, and some are a lot grindier than others. I typically wouldn’t partake in these kinds of drudgeries, though I’m glad they exist for the people that enjoy them, but this is one pursuit I simply can’t ignore, even though I might be losing my mind over it.

I’m just trying to find some coins – 75 of them in fact, but that might just be to start if luck isn’t on my side. Every time I pull up a fish there is a small chance (two to three percent, some estimate) to find a Copper Coin of the Isles. Once I have 75 copper coins I can trade them to the Great Swog – a giant frog that sits on a pile of gold – for an Immaculate Sac of Swog Treasures. Inside that sac is a chance (four to five percent, some estimate) to find Schematic: Khaz’gorite Fisherfriend, a profession equipment that provides 15 fishing skill and a whopping 90 perception. This is what I’m after.

I’m not big into fishing or anything, but as an engineer, there aren’t a lot of ways to make money or be useful to my guild. If I got my hands on this very exclusive piece of equipment, not only would all my friends be grateful, but I’d have something other players are after too. This is such a rare item right now that the schematic itself has been listed for 600k on the auction house. If there’s anything I could fill crafting orders with to make some money, this would be it.

Unfortunately, it’s still far outside my grasp. Countless hours fishing has only netted me 23 copper coins – less than half of what I need for a single sac, which only has a low chance of rewarding the schematic. There’s no telling how many sacs I’ll need to open before I find it, but right now I’m still grinding just to buy my first one.

I fish for it at every opportunity, and I do everything I can to increase my odds. Supposedly, spear fishing lunkers increases the odds of finding one, so I save up my Ominous Conches (yet another rare fishing drop) so I can mass-spawn them when there’s a big group of fishers around. This hasn’t proven fruitful yet, but all I can do is keep trying.

When you grind for things like reputation and honor, it can take a long time to save up. I’ve been saving up Timewarped Badges for years in hopes of one day being able to afford a cool mount. Those grinds can be daunting, but at least you know you’re making steady progress every time you complete a quest or participate in a Battlegrounds. These coins, on the other hand, are a different story. Every time I drop my lure, I’m rolling a 100-sided die and hoping it lands on a specific number. I’m going to the roulette table and putting a dollar on green, over, and over, and over, hoping to hit it 75 times. There’s so little satisfaction and almost no sense of progress farming these horrendous little coins.

My friends keep telling me to give up for now. “Take a break,” they say, “Blizzard has to buff the drop rates eventually right?” Oh sure, let me just wait until it’s easy to get coins so I can compete with every lazy engineer in Azeroth trying to sell fisherfriends at the same time. It’s only valuable while it's hard. It’s now or never. If I’m going to be a team player and make a name for myself in this crazy world, I’ve just got to do it.

If you see me out at the fishing hole one of these days, don’t be scared to say hello. I could use a friendly greeting or a word of encouragement. I’m down bad for some slimy fish coins, and I’m not doing okay.

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