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It’s So Annoying That Pokemon Scarlet’s Koraidon Is Not A Bike

Pokemon Scarlet & Violet will give you the box Legendaries right from the start, having them serve as your transport across the region. They can be ridden to speed across the terrain, but can also climb walls and leap into flight. Much like Breath of the Wild, which Scarlet & Violet appear to take several cues from, the games have a 'go anywhere' philosophy which will likely be creatively curtailed by stamina meters or some other restriction, and giving us Legendaries from the start is a great idea – it gives the endgame more places to go and allows for better exploration of the world itself. There's just one problem: Koraidon is not a bike.

This might be a silly thing to be upset about, but I'm a professional journalist and the topic I have written about the most in my career is 'you ever notice this thing in Pokemon?', so I guess you could say that's my brand. Koraidon is the Pokemon from Pokemon Scarlet, the 'past' version of the game rather than the future, and so far most things had been lining up. I prefer Scarlet's Professor and the historic aesthetic to the slick, glossy sheen of Violet, while a friend of mine I usually alternate versions with wants Violet, so happy days. But Koraidon is making me rethink. It just isn't a bike. Why is it not a bike?

When Koraidon and its Violet brethren Miraidon were first revealed, the big thing everyone noticed about them was that they were, in fact, bikes. Both clearly had tyres protruding from their chests, Koraidon a thick rubber kind and Miraidon a Tron-style glowing sphere. The theory of choice was that the Pokemon would combine, much like the unholy combination of Dialga and Palkia in Legends: Arceus. Instead, the truth is much simpler. They look like bikes because they're bikes. There's just one issue. An issue that I believe has cropped up already. Koraidon is not a bike.

When you see the gameplay footage from Violet, Miraidon clearly is a bike. It rolls around Paldea on its wheels, which emit an electric glow as it whirs around town. However, stop if you think that you've heard this one before, but Koraidon is not a bike. It instead just strolls around on its paws. It can still run, and climb, and fly, but the wheels are entirely aesthetic. They hover a few inches off the ground while the paws do all the work. And here's the major problem with them being an aesthetic choice: they are the ugliest thing I have ever seen.

I have no problem with Pokemon looking cool just because. In fact, I'd say a core building block of design is making something just because it looks good. But Koraidon does not look good. It looks like it has two stupid tyres wedged in it. It looks like someone has run out of burger buns, so they've cut the patty in half and shoved it into a hot dog bun. Why are they there? Just get rid of them. It's not a bike, in case you'd forgotten, so it doesn't need one. I'm just struggling to understand why it's a thing. Koraidon, frustratingly, is one of the cooler looking Legendaries but for the massive tyres. Miraidon suits them, as the cyberpunk shimmer complements its futuristic design, but Koraidon's are clearly tyres and they're clearly not being used.

It's trivial, but also, I'm going to be riding Koraidon for my entire playthrough, so it's extremely irritating that I'm going to have to put up with it. Not only is Koraidon not a bike, but the worst part of its design is that it looks like a bike, which just makes the whole thing ridiculous. Give me a bike Pokemon or don't, c'mon.

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