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I Finally Got A PS5!

Earlier last year, I wrote an article called Platforms That Are Easier To Get Than A PS5. It was a satirical article intended to boost social media engagement. However, I guess the citizens of the Internet forgot what comedy was because the article garnered hundreds of comments from bros who just had to show off.

Every comment was in the vein of, "I got a PS5 already. It's not that hard. You just have to be dedicated enough to get one. And if you're not, then you don't deserve it. Your financial skills suck. Git gud, bro." Well, I finally got one (thank you, Christmas prezzies), and I have some thoughts.

6/6 Oh, He A Chunky Boi!

My first guttural reaction to my new PS5 was that it is an enormous-sized console compared to the PS4 or even the PS4 Pro. It's huge. I'm pretty sure I could smack someone in the head with one and kill them instantly. More technical prowess requires more console, I suppose.

However, we're body positive here at TheGamer, and I must say that the PS5 is a big, sexy console. This chic, next-gen beauty got them curves that make you go "rawwwwwr."

Disclaimer: I'm not saying that a gaming platform sexually aroused me. I'm just trying to convey that the console is aesthetically pleasing, which is a nice plus. But, for the record, the PS5 proves that thicc peeps have more fun.

5/6 Oh, My God! Why Won't My PS4 Data Transfer?

My second gut reaction related to the struggle of setting up my PS5. I'm not saying the menus initiating you into the console are bad. All those UI bells and whistles are in tune. However, certain features – looking at you, PS4 Data Transfer – have higher tech needs than others.

When you transfer your data from the PS4, you're essentially downloading its saved data and as many games as your console can store. But, this task is easier said than done if you're someone with a lot of games and only a little common sense.

If you only store games on your PS4 console, a data transfer to the PS5 should work fine. But I keep a majority of my games on an external drive. So, the blame for my initial transfer error falls entirely on me for expecting 2TB+ of data to magically transfer to the PS5's base storage, which is less than a terabyte. So, why didn't I plug my external drive into the PS5 in the first place? Look, just consider this a PSA please. I've been through enough.

4/6 I Think This Game I Already Own On Steam Looks Better On My PS5, Right? Right????

This Christmas was awkward because I saw most of my gifts before my family exchanged them on Christmas morning (sorry, Mom). So, I knew I was getting a PS5 and what games my parents bought me. One of them was JoJo's Bizzare Adventure: All-Star Battle R, which I absolutely adore, so getting a second copy for my shiny new console was great. Although I appreciated knowing in advance, so I didn't accidentally look confused, rather than excited.

I was interested to see if my PS5 copy would run better than the game did on my laptop. Of course, while playing, I wasn't sure if I was just hopefully convincing myself it ran better or if it genuinely did. But I did notice smoother movement, more detailed textures, and other minor improvements so I'm considering it a win.

Let's face it; we've reached a point in gaming where graphical fidelity is more nuanced than 32-bit to 64-bit. So I've stopped worrying too much about how each game looks on PS5 compared to PS4/PC. Why split hairs when I can watch flowing hair textures on my new PS5?

3/6 You Video-Recorded My Achievements? Why, Thank You, Sony!

While navigating my new PS5, I tested the "Create" button. After all, my job requires a lot of screenshot-taking. So, I was pleased with the malleability of the settings. Removing the screenshot icon and swapping the command to one button click rather than a button hold will do wonders for my job (so long capture card!).

I'm off track, though; that's not the point here. My point was I also noticed a video capture of my first trophy moment while looking through my screenshots. I always enjoyed the screenshots PS4 would take at these pivotal moments. But the video capture is on a whole other level! Plus, there's a spiffy caption underneath the video. How sleek!

So, thank you, Sony! Whenever I feel like a crappy gamer/games writer, I'll rewatch the moment I platinum-trophied [Insert Game Here] Look, I just got this thing, there's no way I won my first platinum trophy yet. Even I can't git gud that fast. Calm down.

2/6 I Feel The Rain. I Feel The Wind. I FEEL EVERYTHING!!!

If you own a PS5, you understand that nothing comes close to the experience of playing Astro's Playroom. This adorable platformer utilizes the DualSense better than any PS5 title. It's like taking a journey with your hands (Eww, don't make it gross.).

Astro's Playroom translates every sensation into the DualSense. I felt Astro's pitter-pattering while he walked around the Labo. I felt the wind's resistance when Astro was blown around by a happy little cloud. And, of course, I felt the strong pushback of the triggers whenever I boosted Astro's rocket. Each sensation was so distinct I felt like I was Astro.

Then I played pretty much any other PS5 game and thought, "Oh, devs are only gonna use this for bow-and-arrow mechanics and simulating rain." I lost that haptic high realfast.

1/6 Should I Buy Cyberpunk?

This is less a reaction and more a question. Like, should I buy it? I heard it works now?

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