10 Video Game Villains I Honestly Think I Could Defeat
Video games have featured some of the most fearsome enemies in all of fiction over the years. Most villains have the desire to dominate or destroy entire worlds, or sometimes something even simpler, like the destruction of a singular hero.
I'm no action hero that can save the day from a guy like Sephiroth, but I think I could handle more than a few video game villains. I'd just need to go into each situation with the right plan to handle the monumental task that would be set out for me. So bring it on villains, I can take you… I think.
10 Mr. Peterson – Hello Neighbor
A surprise hit that immediately gripped audiences, Hello Neighbor is definitely a harrowing experience. It's creepy, difficult, and has one of the most interesting AI systems in any game. That said, I think I could handle a game of hardcore hide-and-seek with Mr. Peterson.
Not to brag, but I`m kind of good at hide-and-seek. I feel like the added factor of creepiness and danger would make me even better because there'd be actual stakes to avoiding detection. There may be a lot of other, trippy, psychological-horror-fugue-state things going on in the background, but, I think I'd be an adequate stealth master.
9 Dark Link – The Legend Of Zelda
Sure, beating Dark Link, or I guess potentially a dark version of myself, might seem like a difficult task on the surface. A being that can mirror all of your moves, and seems to know what your next move is going to be before you make it sound almost impossible to overcome.
I would assume that I'd have similar gear to Link to take the being on, and if there's one thing I know about Dark Link, it's that the fight can be cheesed. Depending on the version, I could either crouch in a corner and poke it with a sword, or just spam Din's Fire over and over, no extra athletics required.
8 Flowey – Undertale
Come on, it's a flower. I'd just step on it and crunch it around a bit. Maybe a fight with Flowey wouldn't be quite so simple, but I've got a pretty strong determination, and I know I'd never live it down in the afterlife if I was taken out by a demonic flower.
I'd obviously need a little extra help if things got serious, but we all know how much Flowey loves to hear itself talk. I'd pick that flower, play a little game of Love Me… Love Me Not with its petals, and turn the stem into a little bracelet as a trophy.
7 Bowser Jr. – Super Mario Bros.
I wouldn't want to have to fight a creature as young as Bowser Jr., but the question isn't would I fight a villain, but could I beat a villain? And I could totally beat that punk. He's a little trickster and might have some special gear on his side, but I just need to get my hands on him once.
Hopefully it doesn't count as animal cruelty to kick a Bowser, as I'd channel my inner NFL punter and blast that little Koopa straight into the sun with one of the hottest kicks around. The only thing I'd have to battle is my own guilt for what I'd done.
6 Handsome Jack – Borderlands 2
The key to defeating someone like Handsome Jack is to be even more ruthless than he is. Well, that and a lot of extra luck. My plan to defeat him would be one that would span decades, much like the villains who have well-thought-out plans. A little Borderlands University, followed up by what must be a payless Hyperion internship.
I'd work my way up the company ladder, doing everything I could to work my way into Jack's inner circle, maybe even putting the moves on Angel. One day, when his guard is down, boom, that's it. It might be a bit lackluster, but I never said I'd beat every villain in spectacular fashion.
5 Andrew Ryan – Bioshock
Okay, this one is a bit of a cheat, because I guess I'd just have to let myself be brainwashed with a trigger word that makes me follow people's commands. Once that's good, I'd just have to become the main antagonist of Bioshock and let the events of the game unfold.
In a way, being able to defeat Andrew Ryan isn't impressive, since he'd ask me kindly. But, in a different way, I'd be beating a bunch of Big Daddys on my way to doing that. So basically, I'm saying I could beat multiple Big Daddys and Andrew Ryan.
4 Scott Shelby – Heavy Rain
It may be true that The Origami Killer is just some guy, but he is still a serious villain. In a one-on-one fight, I think I could take him. I box and he's getting on a bit, so I think that would be fine. But things might be tougher if I was stuck in his trials.
I don't have a kid he could steal, but I like to think that I could go through the worst of his trials to rescue someone I love. As long as I can get him with a quick kick to the nards, any punishment I'd have gone through would be worth it in the end.
3 Goro Akechi – Persona 5
Who doesn't want to smack the smug grin off of Goro Akechi? I'll be honest and say I couldn't recall a single thing from the other Persona games, but I was paying enough attention to catch a key piece of evidence against Akechi pretty early in Persona 5 (thanks, Morgana).
That gives me the confidence that, rather than enacting an elaborate and admittedly impressive plan, I could just get to him before he even saw it coming. He doesn't look like he could take a punch, so it would just be a bit of a surprise to get him before he could pull anything himself.
2 Edelgard Von Hresvelg – Fire Emblem: Three Houses
You may be scratching your head, wondering how in the world I think I would be able to defeat an empress. No, I don't think I have the skill to beat her in combat. Edelgard kinda scares me, and she likes big axes.
Instead, I would do what Byleth taught me best and simply charm her. That's right, I'd shower her with gifts she never asked for, make her meet me for tea and crumpets, and eventually marry her. At that point, defeating her Game of Thrones-betrayal-style becomes simple, and something that I guess would make me an emperor.
1 Great Grey Wolf Sif – Dark Souls
There is absolutely no way I could or even would attempt to defeat Great Grey Wolf Sif through brutal combat. Sif is arguably the goodest boy in all of Dark Souls and no harm should have to come to that poor, majestic creature.
Why use violence when you can instead promise treats and friendship. I could never replace Sif's fallen master, I know that, but I could settle for second place with a wolf like that. Best pals for life, that sounds like the best way to defeat any villain.
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